Inflatable Dateable (Part 2)

At the end of the first school day marking my possession of Little Swiss Miss, a fellow Mahoney Phony walked into my classroom bedecked in his green officer’s uniform, black cloth stripes running down both legs, a single gold bar adorning each shoulder–Lieutenant Peyton Flannigan, a hard partying, slightly built, young faculty officer with a wandering left eye. “John, rumor has it, you confiscated a plastic sex doll from A Company.”
“True, my friend, that would be true; complete with holes for oral, vaginal and anal penetration.”
“Did you do her yet?”
“Dude, it’s not a “her;” it’s a piece of plastic you inflate that has yellow yarn for hair.”
“So, introduce me.”
“She’s not with me today; she’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll introduce you to her then.”
“Sir,” the conversation with Lt. Flannigan was interrupted by Cadet Bergen. “Sir,” he repeated, “Can I talk with you alone?”
“Tomorrow, Lt. Flannigan. What is it Bergen?”
“It’s mine; the doll you took; you call Little Swiss Miss, is mine.”
Cadet Bergen was fifteen, about 5′ 2″, a good shot with a basketball, but with an I Q of about 80, not
much of a student, but obviously, he was some type of entrepreneur. He sat in the third seat, row closest to the door in a class of sixteen.
“Okay, now though it’s mine. How are you going to get it back? Tell on me? You’d have to admit you own it. That’s a dismissal from the school. How are you going to explain how I got it? Lieutenant Ryan stole my plastic sex doll when he caught me and a group of guys having a gang bang? You can have it back when you admit to the entire class and me that you did the doll.”
“I didn’t do her, Sir!”
“Bergen, we both know that’s not true, right.” LOL “See you tomorrow in class.”
I left my class, made a left down the hallway, past the empty classroom of Captain La Fay, a tall, thin, Princeton educated, gay English teacher. Next I walked past the classroom of Lt. Benny, a tall, 240″, balding, Hitler mustached English teacher. “Lt. Ryan?”
“Yes, Benny?” It was okay to call another faculty officer or any cadet by his last name, but never okay to call anyone by his first name, which really made the last name the first name I thought
“My sixth period class is getting out of control; I thought maybe we could talk about a strategy to handle them.”
“What are they doing?”
“Anything they want! Today they stole my hat; I can’t even leave the building; I’ll be out of uniform. How can I go home? My lunch, they took my lunch!”
“How’d they get your lunch?”
“I hadn’t locked it in my closet yet; it was on my desk; two kielbasa with sour kraut on long rolls, chips, and an apple. Olga is going to be pissed.”
“So, don’t tell her.”
“She’ll want to know what happened to the bag!”
“Tell her you lost the bag, left it at school.”
“I can’t that would be lying and she would think I’m incompetent.”
“Benny, tell her you’ll bring a bag tomorrow if she asks. I’ll bring you one from my house. Tell her, Sweetie, you know your kielbasa is the best. Really, Benny, how do you even want to go home? That is way too much work. The rest we will talk about tomorrow. I have a Superintendent’s staff meeting I’m headed for.”
“But my hat!”
I reached to my head, grabbed my hat and flipped it to Benny.
“But Ryan, what will you wear, and Olga will know it’s not my hat.”
“OMG, Benny, you’re killing me. Get a set, will ya, you’re a grown friggin man. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

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